Mommy of an Angel

December 22nd, 2017 I found out I was pregnant with you. That same night I told your daddy and we both cried tears of joy.

December 24-25th we announced to both our families who were excited to be grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

January 12th we seen you for the first time in our ultrasound scan and heard your heartbeat.

February 14th your daddy and I announced our excitement on Facebook that you were our Valentines blessing.

February 22nd we got to see you again in an ultrasound and your daddy and I were both so amazed at how active you were and loved seeing you move around in my tummy.

March 24th your mommy and daddy couldn’t wait any longer and had a first peak ultrasound done to find out you were a boy! My heart was overfilled with joy as each day I thought of you I pictured an oh so beautifully made baby boy.

April 1st your daddy and I made a visit to the ER due to mommy having a strange feeling something wasn’t right.

April 3rd at 2:04pm your mommy painfully both physically and emotionally gave birth to you due to an incompetent cervix and a failed cerclage attempt. 

2:04pm-2:10pm your mommy and daddy stared at how beautiful you were laying on my chest, pointing out that you had my nose, my lips, my toes, your daddy’s shoulders, long fingers, and the forming of what we think would’ve been my ears. Your eyes were fused shut so we didn’t get to see you staring back at us, but we both cried as you held out your tiny little arm as if reaching out to hold ours. I held your little hand as you wrapped all five fingers around my finger tip for a few moments until the nurses took you to take your measurements and footprints. You were 8.7 inches long and weighed 8.8 ounces.

3pm you were baptized with your Tia Marisa and Tio Aaron as your godparents. 

3pm-4pm your grandparents, great grandma, aunts, and uncles each held you.

4-4:30pm your daddy and I held you, cried, and stared at you until you took your last breath.

A piece of my heart went with you the moment God took you into His arms. I may never truly understand the reason you were taken from us so soon and as much as I try to distract myself or even share a smile or laugh with others, my heart continues to ache terribly. Nothing could have ever prepared me for the greatest pain I’ve ever felt in life, losing you. I pray that you know how much your daddy and I loved you from the second you were formed. 

Until the day we meet again my beautiful Ezra Gotham. 💙

Matthew 19:14 

But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”