They say time heals all wounds and when you're currently going through a rough situation you think what a bunch of crap. Well being on the other end of it now, let me just say, it's the truth. It took me almost an entire 2 years to get over my first love. That's a long time of dealing with a heartbreak and a long time trying different methods to cope with it. My friend called me a serial dater because I dated so many guys, each only lasting 2 weeks max. No one really understood my reason, but after having spent almost 7 years with one person believing you weren't ever going to have to date again, you make it a point to be sure of the next one.
If anyone ever criticizes you for being too picky or having high standards, don't listen. We all have our reasons and mine was simple, I wasn't going to waste anymore time. So I would meet a guy, go on a date, maybe a few if they were lucky, and if there were red flags there wouldn't be a second date. After having gone through so many issues and believing I could change my ex I realized you can't change a person, you just accept them for who they are. I can't even remember the countless dates I went on, but one thing I knew for sure was that he would have to be real special to catch my attention.
It took me over 2 years to finally find someone who I thought was worth my time, my unconditional love. This is when you know you really found someone you love like you have never loved before, and that's when you want to be the best version of yourself. It is indescribable the feeling that captivates your heart when you have found someone who loves you so deeply as you love them. Let me just say that Mando has made me want to be a better woman, a Godly woman.
I thank God for bringing him into my life and I truly believe He did because of my faith in Him. It was unreal and I know most people find it hard to believe who don't have strong enough faith, but God truly spoke to me in different ways when I asked Him to guide me when finding my person. It was the most unreal thing when I would ask God to give me a sign and He would!
I was seeing this guy who I thought was great, he was a gentleman and genuinely cared for me. The only downside was that he had a child and baby mama drama with his ex. It did bother me, but since he made time for me I figured we could try to make it work. One night I cried to God in my usual nightly prayer and asked Him to please give me a sign if things weren't mean to be with that guy and I. I usually would talk to God as if He were my best friend, telling Him all of my problems and asking for guidance. So the next morning I awoke to a text message from that guy saying that he had met up with his ex the night before and she wanted to try being a family with him and their son, but he was hesitant because of me. I knew right then he wasn't the one for me and without even realizing had a big smile on my face because I knew in my heart that God was giving me a sign. So I ended it.
This happened about 2 times after and each time I knew in my heart that God was giving me a sign I'd listen and end things. Each time I ended things it became easier on my heart to let go, as if God were healing my heart because I had faith in Him. Having done this for some time and giving my all to God I would continue to pray that He send me the one, the man who I deserved.
There is a passage in my book on uplifting thoughts that reads, "God and Time will heal all wounds. Every sunrise is a new day, and a new beginning. Each day God gives us another opportunity to dance in the glow of His light and happiness. Don’t stand there watching, join the dance." Then the verse from the Bible for that day was, You have turned for me my mourning into dancing. –Psalm 30:11.
If you remind yourself every morning as soon as you wake up to thank God for giving you another day you're already starting your day off on the right foot. I cannot help but remember what my grandpa told me about not appreciating your blessings in life and holding on too tight. Well God pried each and every finger in my hand open until it was all gone only to have me rebuild my life...the right way this time. This time I was to take all of the broken pieces and build myself up as a woman of God and a pure heart ready to be filled with a heart like God.
I'm sleeping in my bed and am suddenly awaken by a tugging at my feet. I open my eyes only to find that the devil is pulling at my feet trying to bring me down with him. Worried, scared, and frantic I begin to reach for the head rest of my bed to keep myself from being pulled down. I look up and see God standing at the head of my bed, just staring at me with a blank face as if saying you did this to yourself. Reaching out my hand so that God can hold on to me and keep me from being dragged He just stands, motionless. I'm screaming, and little did I know I was actually screaming, and am finally woken up by mom who was screaming and asking me if I was okay. I get up and just couldn't believe the dream I had. I tell my mom I'm okay, but just sit in bed wondering what in the world just happened.
From that day forward I made it a point to attend church on Sunday's, thank God every single day for all of His blessings, and asked Him to guide me in the right direction. So many of us have more blessings than half the people in this world and yet we don't realize it. Every morning I wake up and thank God for my blessings.
I thank Him for giving me another day, having a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, an apartment of my own, AC/heater, running water, electricity, all of my body parts/organs/senses, being healthy, having clothes/shoes, hygiene essentials to keep clean, food to eat everyday, household items, furniture, and all of my earthly belongings. I thank Him for the luxuries in life (yes, luxuries) such as my job, my car, my education, a phone, television, internet, fashion accessories, and everything that makes my life easier. Lastly, I thank Him for the greatest blessings in my life which are my family, friends, Mando's family, and the Godly man He placed in my life...Mando.
Focusing and thanking God for the countless blessings I have in my life has allowed me to become the most humble I have been in my life. I very much in a sense let Jesus take the wheel and I'm glad I did because I am the happiest I have been in my entire life! Open your eyes, stop looking at the negative and focus on the positive. If you are able to wake up each day and not worry about how you're going to survive then consider yourself one of the luckiest people in the world.
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