Dear God,
I'm trying my best, but I need some rest. I'm tired and drained, will you please renew my emotionally beat heart? Will you restore my mind? Will you breathe life into me? God, take who I made and replace it with who you created me to be.
I stumbled upon this prayer on Pinterest (so addicting) and I couldn't help but feel this is the prayer I needed most at that exact moment. For so many years I've told myself I had to be strong. I had to be strong as a teen for my sister during the divorce, I had to be strong for my mom during the moments she needed my dad the most and he wasn't there, and in the previous relationships and current one I've had to be strong for the sake of the relationship. Because I've had to be strong for so many years and haven't had the privilege of being taken care of, it's been weighing me down emotionally and spiritually.
As a Catholic I haven't been the greatest, I admit. I go through phases when I'm heavily into Sunday masses and prayer, then others when prayer is all there is. I've noticed during my hard times is when I do not attend Church, although I realize that's when I need it most. I do, however, make it a point to thank God daily for every single thing he has blessed me with from waking up to having socks to wear. In my mind as long as He knows I am grateful for what He's given me, I pray that He continues to bless me daily.
Even after everything I have been through in my past it seems I still have a lot to learn. Currently the obstacle is financial. I'm sure the lesson I will learn from this will make me a better and stronger woman, but just going through the storm is what has been difficult. Financial stress is something I know that everyone deals with. It isn't the first time I've gone through financial stress and I'm sure it won't be the last.
One thing I have been utterly amazed with is how strong prayers are. Each and every time that I have gone through financial troubles, and I mean barely had enough for groceries at times, God always came through. There would be days when I didn't have anything for lunch and it would just so happen that we would have free lunch at work that day. There was even an entire week that we had lunch catered for the employees and it was the week before payday.
So many times I'd cry myself to sleep praying to be strong, to have patience, and to trust God that things would turn around. Talking to God is what keeps me sane and knowing that He listens only keeps the hope alive.
One thing I have learned out of this is that I may not be rich monetarily, I am incredibly rich in other blessings. "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. 17 The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." -1 John 2:15-17
If you are currently struggling financially I encourage you to take a step back, take a good look at your life, and realize the blessings that you do have. If you have a place to sleep at night, you're blessed. If you have food to eat everyday, you're blessed. If you are healthy, you're blessed. If you have family, you're blessed. If you have a job, a car, a phone, a roof over your head, etc. you are blessed.
It took me a long time to realize that God wanted me to see what it is I DO have in my life versus constantly wanting to make more money. It's the little things in life that are what matter most.
