Still Proud To Be An American

So we have a new president, and it's not who the majority of the U.S. population wanted.

Is it a shock? Yes, I am still in disbelief that Trump was elected.
Am I going to let it effect me? No, absolutely not.

This may come as a shock to many people to hear my opinions regarding our new President being that I am a Mexican American woman, two of the groups targeted by Trump. However, that doesn't take away from me being proud to be an American.

As a Mexican American, I am not worried. Not because I was born a citizen, or because I am third generation, but because I am a firm believer of "if the shoe fits, wear it." As a Mexican American I have already broken barriers many assume aren't able to be broken because of my nationality. I attribute these accomplishments to the fact that I didn't allow myself to be set back by stereotypes or different treatment.

I've read so many people's accounts on their experience with racism toward them and it's a horrible thing. I know this because it's happened to me. I grew up in a predominantly Mexican community that is even called Little Mexico. Everything around me was Mexican, everyone around me was Mexican, and everyone was able to speak Spanish. By the time it came to my final year before high school my parents decided they wanted me to attend a better school than what was available to me, so they decided to move. In order for me to attend this great high school we moved to a small suburb of Chicago which at that time was about 3% Latino, 97% Caucasian. My new high school had a Latino population of .03%, which wasn't even more than 30 students at the entire school worth.

I remember my first day of school like it was yesterday. I was so angry with my parents because they were making me go to a school where I had no friends, knew not one soul, and was considered an inner city transfer student. My first day felt like I was Cady Heron from Mean Girls, no friends, eating alone, and feeling out of place as I was now the minority. To make matters worse I went through something I had never in my life experienced, racism.

It was the first week in English class and of course I was stuck in the class with about half of the football team that seemed to have too much energy all of the time. We're discussing the list of books we were required to read the summer prior to school starting and as it was my turn to give my feedback a boy in class mutters "wetback" loud enough so the entire class and teacher can hear. The teacher seemed mortified and embarrassed, almost didn't even know how to react for the first few seconds. The teacher then told that student to leave the classroom and wait in the hallway. She excused herself for 2 minutes and they both came back. That boy in class still had a smirk on his face, but didn't say anything for the remainder of the class. Once class was over he hurried to walk by me and says, "you dirty spick, what are you even doing here."

As a 13 year old Mexican American girl who had never in her life experienced such treatment, I froze. What do I say? How do I even react? I said nothing and kept walking. I remember going through the remainder of my school day numb. I didn't tell my parents because I knew they'd be upset and I didn't want to make a big deal of it.

A few months later during lunch hour a girl came up to our table (which by now was filled with all of the Latinos in our lunch period) and said "1 down 9 more to go." She was referring to the student who had just been expelled from school for not living in the district, he was Mexican. Situations like these continued and we even found out that our secretary's and administrative offices were hanging up on any person that called inquiring about enrollment who had the least bit of a Spanish accent. During my time there I occupied myself with my passion for journalism and would go straight to work after school. A group of friends created an organization for Latin American students at our school so we had a safe place to go to, but wasn't recognized by the school officially until 3 years later.

Now, as a woman I have faced sexism in almost every job I have held, but I'd have to say the worst was in Texas. That shouldn't come as a surprise for those who are aware of Texas and their conservative views, but for me it was a struggle to deal with the sexism in the workplace.

Regardless of the racism and sexism I have experienced in my 27 years I have not let it stop me from pursuing any dream I've had. I have not used that as a crutch to stop myself from wanting more. I have not used that as an excuse as to why I didn't get certain promotions or jobs. I have not allowed those experiences to define me as a person.

Yes, I am a Mexican American woman, but I will not let those two factors be how a person perceives me. There have been too many instances where I have heard, the system isn't built for us, it's not easy for someone like me to achieve my dreams. Here is my message to them...

The system is built for everyone, but is it easier for some than others? Yes. Do you let that stop you? No.

I am not naturally smart and I admit that so what I did was push myself harder to achieve a higher education in order for me to succeed professionally. I pushed myself hard in high school in order to have a certain GPA to get into a good college. I pushed myself hard at the university I attended in order to take what I learned in class and apply it in the real world. The system may not have been "built for me," but I worked the hell out of it and I made it.

By making it I don't mean I'm by any means 100% successful. What I mean is I made it based on my personal feelings toward my accomplishments and I'm not done, I'm not where I want to be.

Each and everyday I push myself a little bit harder to achieve the things I still yearn for in life...a beautiful home to call my own, beautiful children to be a mother to, and financial security in order to breathe a little easier.

The bottom line that I want everyone to realize is you are not being held back by anyone else but yourself.

As a woman of faith, a woman who believes in God, I cannot sit here and be a hypocrite to the injustices we are all witnessing in this country of ours. There is so much hate in this world and although Trump's actions may have influenced groups of people to speak out or act out, don't let it get the best of you.

My response to the message I keep seeing pop up on my social media feeds that read "if you are not one of the targeted groups you have no say," I am part of the targeted groups and I will not allow that to bring me down. It's not always easy to turn the other cheek as we should be, but we can use it as a tool to build us up and fuel our motivation to make positive changes in the world.

Pain, defeat, anger, sadness, and confusion are all understandable emotions to feel for those who were against Trump becoming President. As I have mentioned to those closest to me, let's not allow this to turn us into those we were so strongly against prior to this. Let's rise above it, pray for the best, and continue to spread positivity. After all, God teaches us to cast all of our worries on Him. We cannot be true people of faith if we do not believe that we are taken care of at all times. God brings us the happiest of times and carries us through the worst of times.

Fight for what you believe in, but let's remember to do so with dignity, respect, and with everyone's safety in mind.

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Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. - Psalm 55:22

Over This Election...

Trump is a racist businessman with no qualifications to run for POTUS. 

Hillary is a lying politician who should not be allowed to run for POTUS. 

These two lines have been said in so many words regarding the two candidates for POTUS throughout this entire election and it's all we can seem to focus on. Elections have always been known to take jabs at the other candidate toward the end of the election, but it seems this entire election has been just that. 

I'm so sick and tired of seeing countless posts on social media of people belittling or sharing memes made to make the candidate that they are strongly against. I understand the frustration, I really do, but do we really believe that sharing a meme of Donald Trump morphed into the body of a pig, or Hilary Clinton half naked in a bathing suit is serving any purpose? Does that really help the young individual who is finally of age to vote and is stuck between the two make their decision and basing them off of your posts? 

So many grown men and women acting like children by posting such things is just sad in my opinion. It makes me wonder what happened in the last few years, where did we go wrong, when everyone started to point fingers and make it so public?

Most Americans today will admit this election is one of the scariest, if not the scariest, and their decision has probably not been made. My honest opinion, I haven't felt 100% on either as well and it's the toughest decision to make. 

My suggestion to everyone would be to post less negativity and start sharing positive messages regarding your candidate of choice. 

Yes, we know the downfalls each candidate has. 

Yes, we've heard how many times Trump has made indecent remarks toward a group of people. 

Yes, we've heard how many times Hilary has lied while under oath.

You know what I have not heard yet from most people? Why they are choosing their candidate. 

So here is a question I would love to pose to everyone who loves to share negative things about the opposite candidate, what do you LIKE about your candidate of choice? When answering that question, feel free to create a post with a list of reasons why your candidate is your choice. This way when those who are still stuck in the middle can read what each candidate brings to the table that they might not have already known. 

Remember that no matter who you are, you have an influence on someone, at least one person out there who looks to you and you may not even know it. Again, I understand the frustration, but the mainstream media has already taken the job of posting the negatives about each candidate, let's work together as a whole to start building each other up, not tearing each other down.

Am I upset about what each has against them? Yes of course, but I'm also upset that as a country we're not taking this more serious and are allowing this to tear us apart even further. We're better than this. 

The Joys of Being a Godmother

"So we were talking about baptizing the baby and we want you to be the Godmother." 

I'll never forget the day my uncle asked me to be the Godmother to my beautiful Godson. I was not only surprised, but so humbled and proud to even be considered. He went on to say that he wanted his son to have a strong and motivated Godmother to look up to, but he already had me at we want you...

Since I had been asked prior to him being born I couldn't wait until his arrival. The day he was brought back home with his mom I was itching to get off work and see him. Here I am, below, still dressed in my work clothes holding him.

Since the day he was born I had such a strong attachment to him that I can't quite explain. It was as close to the feeling of being a mom as I can honestly say I have felt. 

For the next 4 years I made sure I was there to see him growing. I would ask my uncle to let me take him home for a day or even a weekend. To this day I'm truly surprised they trusted me taking care of him overnight being that I wasn't a mother and was only  20, but I'm glad they did. 

I say 4 years because once I moved to Texas it was incredibly hard to spend the quality time I was used to spending with him being so far. His 5th birthday was the first birthday I wasn't there to celebrate with him, but I did send him a present and made sure to FaceTime my sister as he opened it. 

During our times together I would take him to the park, which interestingly enough I was able to be the first person to take him to a park and go down his first slide. We'd go to Chuck E. Cheese, walking around the town, get ice cream, or just watch movies at home. I always joke around and say that my Godson has put me through almost everything that a mother would go through with her child. 

He has been sick with me overnight. I had to get up at 4 am as he was projectile vomiting on me, bathe him and rock him to sleep as he cried. He has had explosive diarrhea to the point where he pooped all over my bed, pillows, his clothes, and my arm which then caused me to have to bathe him and of course throw out all of my sheets and pillow cases. During my friends baby shower that I took him with he decided to attempt to throw a tantrum by wanting to throw himself on the floor because he didn't want to leave. I had to give him a nice butt warming for that one, which I can honestly say was the best decision I made during that episode because to this day he has never tried it again with me.  

Now that I am back home and he is now 6 years old I make an attempt to see him more often so that I can be there for him whenever he needs someone aside from his parents. I want him to feel comfortable to come to me as he gets older with any issues that may arise. I pray that I'm able to teach him how amazing God is and instill our Catholic values in his everyday life. 

My Godson, my little corazon de melon, 6 years old now and so full of life. He's so energetic, so happy, loving, and considerate. I'll never forget the time we were walking back home from getting a cookie at a local bakery and just before we were about to cross the train tracks he extends his little arm out to block me from continuing to walk and says, "wait Titi (Tia in Puerto Rican Spanish), let me make sure there are no trains coming so you can go." My heart just melted right there and had to bring him close to squeeze him from how much love I felt at that moment. 

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To know wisdom and instruction,

To discern the sayings of understanding,

3 

To receive instruction in wise behavior,

Righteousness, justice and equity;

4 

To give prudence to the naive,

To the youth knowledge and discretion,

5 

A wise man will hear and increase in learning,

And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

6 

To understand a proverb and a figure,

The words of the wise and their riddles. - Proverbs 2-6

From Ms. to Mrs.

"So how is married life treating you?"

"I don't know, nothing is different. I'm happy, he's happy, we're both incredibly blessed."

In two more days it'll be one month since my husband and I legally married and I have to say, not much is different. I've been asked how married life is too many times to count on one hand and each time I don't know exactly what it is the person expects to hear from me.

My husband and I have lived together for the last 3 years and I believe that had a lot to do with my feeling no different since our our status went from domestic partnership to married. The one question that I'm sure many might want to ask but fear it may be offensive is if I'm pregnant. It's an understandable assumption for anyone to have considering we originally planned a traditional ceremony and reception and had last minute change of plans.

Nope, still not pregnant and still no desire to become a mother yet. Maybe after our church wedding the desire will kick in. For now, I just plan to enjoy my husband as much as I can and be selfish because I know for a fact that once we have children he is going to be the most amazing dad and give all of his attention and affection to the kids. Which, don't get me wrong is a great thing and I'd be blessed to have, but stinks for me as I'm used to receiving it all. Selfish, I know, but I don't think it's wrong to want to be someone's everything after getting married.

I will say this, the biggest change I have noticed is from my in-laws. It's as if once we were married they returned to the way they were with me when I first started dating my husband. I don't really know how to explain it, but I feel welcomed again. I'm sure it has everything to do with the fact that I am now officially their daughter/sister-in-law, but it has felt amazing.

The gut wrenching feeling of not knowing what might be said, how am I going to upset someone now has completely vanished and I'm beyond grateful. I look at my new family and instantly filled with gratitude.

I pray that for as long as I'm alive I'm happily married to my husband and continue to build a strong relationship with my new family.

I Am Yours and You Are Mine... 9/17/16

As of 5pm on Saturday, September 17, 2016 I am officially and legally married!!!

Words cannot describe the immense happiness I felt walking toward my husband with my two cousins at my side as he was standing under a beautifully decorated gazebo standing next to my sister and brother-in-law and the song Turning Page played. If only I could capture the look on his face as our eyes were locked with such emotion behind them. Happy, excited, anxious, blessed, and all around bliss!

To be honest, I can't even remember exactly what the justice of the peace was saying during the actual ceremony because I couldn't help but smile the entire time as I stood in front of my love. So many thoughts and memories were rushing through my mind as we stood there... How did I get so blessed? My love looks so handsome. Aw my honey is crying, but hold in your tears because you'll ruin your makeup. 

Laughing together from pure happiness!

We chose to get married through court in Las Vegas before doing the big traditional wedding as originally planned for October 1st of this year. Many factors played a role in our decision to make this change. I just felt so many people on the outside felt the need to share too much of their personal opinions on a wedding that wasn't there own. So one day I told my now husband that I couldn't take it anymore, all the negativity toward something that we both wanted for what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. 

So there we were, lying in bed one night when I mentioned, "what if we get married in Vegas instead and do a big wedding next year when we have more time to plan it the way we want to?" He turned to me with his eyes wide open with a tone of excitement and said, "I was thinking the same thing but was afraid to mention it in fear that you'd be upset because it's not traditional." I'm sure we both let out of a sigh of relief realizing we were on the same page and so began the non traditional Vegas wedding!

We decided on only inviting our bridal party and save the family and friends for our Church wedding next year. This way we could have our bachelor/bachelorette parties the night before our ceremony, kill two birds with one stone.  We then chose a venue for our ceremony which featured an evening ceremony performed outdoors in a gazebo for up to 10 guests. My sister was my maid of honor and his brother was the best man. My two closest cousins were my bridesmaids, and walked me down the aisle. My friend of 12 years was a groomsman, along with my sisters boyfriend. 

The day couldn't have been more perfect. We had perfect weather, a beautiful set-up, and the love and support of our bridal party. 

Here's to hoping for smooth planning for our Church wedding next year! :)

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4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Matthew 19: 4-6

Admitting Your Faults

Admitting your faults to those closest to you is a hard thing to do, but admitting them to yourself is even harder. 

Just the other day my fiance and I had a disagreement and he said something that he usually says after an argument, but this time it struck a different chord then before. "Whatever you say, like always..." he muttered as he walked away. As much as I wanted to say something back, like I always do, I stayed quiet. This triggered me to reflect on our disagreements and really think about whether I listen to his side or not. 

Having more time to reflect on life lately led this to be my next topic to reflect on the last few days after that disagreement. Have I always disregarded the wants of my partner in relationships? Do I always push to get my way in arguments? Am I always this selfish?

The answers after finally having to admit them to myself were most of the time I have disregarded my partners feelings, I do always push to get my way, and no I haven't always been this selfish. There was a time before my first heart break that I was a completely different person. I was kinder, more caring, and completely selfless. 

I'm aware that as the years went on and I was thrown into the crazy obstacles of life it slowly made me less trusting, less compassionate, and more attentive to my own needs. I'm not happy with the person I have become, but I have slowly been trying to shed these burdens and let God handle it. Definitely easier said than done, but I am trying my hardest to remember the much nicer person I was before this harsh world altered me. I can't blame it entirely on the obstacles I've faced because ultimately I made the decision to be this way, but it took a toll. Each day it feels like all the harsh realities of this world make it less hopeful that things can change for the better. 

Blunt, judgmental, inconsiderate, one-sided, jealous, lack compassion, negative, selfish and controlling. 

These are all of what I consider to be my faults. I wouldn't say I am all of these all at once or even all the time, but I have tendencies to act on each of these at times and I despise that I do. 

Considering these faults I wouldn't say I'm a bad person, but I have started to notice that I've lost sight of my true self with having gone through difficult times in the last year alone. I know my good qualities outweigh the bad, but my goal is to slowly eliminate the bad altogether. 

My greatest blessing is knowing that I can always ask God for guidance and knowing He is always there to listen to my concerns, pleas, and woes. It took me deciding to leave a job for unethical practices and having an extremely difficult time finding a new career to reflect on these important issues I've been turning a blind eye to. 

I've learned that in order for me to be the best daughter to my Father God, wife to my future husband, and happy with the person I myself am that I need to work harder than ever to be the person I once was before. Work harder toward being the happy, compassionate, considerate, selfless, loving, and open person I once was not only for those closest to me, but to be happy with myself each day I wake up and look in the mirror. 

I have to keep reminding myself that the unfortunate events I've gone through do not define me and they don't have to change me, I can and will overcome this and come out on top. You can to if you find yourself in a similar situation. 

5 Ways To Start Vacationing Every Year

Vacationing each year is something I've done since I was a baby, thanks to my parents who made it possible up until now.

This is definitely not a blog post on how to save money in order to vacation because there are tons of articles/blog posts out there with a ton of great ideas. Only you know how you can best save your own money based on your income and what is left over for you to set aside.

This is a how-to on what to look for when vacationing in popular tourist attractions/destinations. One of my favorite places, and one I get asked about frequently by those who know me, is Orlando (Disney World). However, these tips can be used to vacation to other popular destinations such as Puerto Vallarta, Cancun, Cabo San Lucas, Bahamas, etc.

First, I'm going to ask you to remove any and all negativity that you have heard about how much money you'll spend, how extreme the weather is, or anything that anyone has vented to you about their experience. Remember that it's only that...THEIR personal experience, which can differ from person to person.

Here are a few tips on how to save during your vacation in order to be able to afford taking at least one each year.


1. Use bundle deals on applicable websites (Expedia, Priceline, Spirit, etc.).

I've used this option myself twice now and saved me so much money. The first was my trip to Cancun in 2011 with some friends. We used Expedia and paid $500 per person for the airfare and resort stay for an entire week. Most recently my family and I used Spirit to book our airfare and resort stay for my uncle's wedding in Cancun. Although it was still pretty pricey, $540/person, we still saved a lot by booking it as a bundle package. Always make sure to browse under a private browser window so that the websites won't read your IP address and hike up the prices, since we all know they are in cahoots together. 

2. If you know someone with a timeshare, ask to purchase 1 week from them or visit this website for amazing and affordable deals (sales presentation required).

Fortunately for me, my parents purchased a timeshare when I was young and have since then paid it off. This means that my sister and I are able to use their timeshare through an amazing resort exchange company called RCI to book five star resorts anywhere in the world. If you know someone who has a timeshare I'd definitely suggest treating them to a nice dinner and casually asking them to buy a week of theirs to take advantage of the beautiful resorts available for use to timeshare owners. Of course this comes at a price, but will not compare to the insane amount of money you'd pay to book a hotel that doesn't have a kitchen, washer/dryer, or multiple pools. The beauty of owning a timeshare and more information is coming soon on another blog post. 

3. If the destination isn't more than 15 hours away from you, and airfare is expensive, consider driving.

Many times we get caught up with life and some trips may be last minute decisions. This then means that with less time until your vacation, airfare becomes a heck of a lot more expensive. Although I myself am not a fan of road trips, if your vacation destination isn't too far from you, driving may be the most cost effective choice. Think about it, you'd only spend money on gas (which if you don't have a gas guzzler won't mean too many trips to the pump) and you now have a car to travel with during your vacation. That for me is the BIGGEST plus on a vacation, especially if you're going somewhere that has multiple attractions that you have no choice but to drive to. For example, my nearly annual trips to Orlando always require a car during my week stay because all of the parks are at least 20-30 minutes driving distance from each other. Although the resorts we stay at offer free transportation to the parks (another great perk about timeshare/resort stay) my family and I always like to go to dinner after at our favorite Mexican restaurant in Kissimmee, El Tenampa (highly suggest trying it). During our time in Texas we drove back and forth, a lot! This was a 12-14 hour drive, depending on how risky we wanted to be in hopes to not get pulled over, and literally only spent about $150 on gas round-trip. If you're a couple, that is almost one airfare ticket. If you're a family of four, you're saving at least $400 on airfare. Definitely something to consider. 

4. Search for online deals for activities prior to your trip to save by booking online.

Theme parks, kayaking, swimming with the dolphins, ATVs, excursion tours, para sailing, jet ski's, and so much more that so many of us can't wait to do during our vacations. If you have ever done any of the mentioned activities or something similar, you're aware that the cost seems a bit high for the activity. However, being that it's a vacation spot, they know people will pay premium dollars to experience something like this away from home. There are tons of companies that offer these services at your desired vacation spot and many have discounts for those who purchase in advance online. It can be anywhere from 10-30% off the regular price. That in itself is saving a lot considering it'll already be paid for once you arrive and it won't take away from the cash you set aside during your vacation. Always check Groupon as well, they usually have a ton of stuff available not only for activities, for getaways as well. 

5. Take advantage of those unbearable sales presentations that are always being offered.

Now I know this is the most unpleasant of the steps I've listed, but hear me out when I say IT'S WORTH IT! Is it ever the 90 minutes that they swear it will only take? No. However, if you're firm with your decision to not purchase the entire process will go by much quicker than you'd imagine. Do not let a pushy salesman deter you from raking in some cash or scoring free tickets to activities/theme parks! Think of it this way, you go through this anywhere you go nowadays. You go to your favorite retail store and they ask you if you want to sign up for their credit card. You go to the bank and they say, it looks like you qualify for our premium so on. You go to a mall and are approached by the kiosk owners to try their products. It's something we go through often and we don't even realize it. Why not take advantage of the presentation and if anything look at it as this. You schedule the presentation in the morning, always in the morning, and they give you free breakfast. After the free breakfast, and many have amazing buffets, they take you on a tour of their beautiful and luxurious resort and you get to see how timeshare owners spend their vacations in what is bigger and more beautiful than the average apartment. After the breakfast and tour they proceed with their sales pitch. If it's something you are genuinely not interested in, then by all means say no and explain why it's not for you, they thank you for your time, and send you off to retrieve your gift just for attending.  The best part about it, you have the entire rest of your day to enjoy the free gift you just received! 

During my last vacation to Orlando my fiance and I did four presentations, yes four. So for four days out of our seven days there we had free breakfast, money we didn't have to spend out of our own pocket. One of the four presentations offered us extremely discounted Universal Studios tickets, we paid $300 for TWO 7-day park-to-park passes for both Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. They don't even sell 7-day tickets on the website, just for ONE 4-day park-to-park ticket you pay $400 plus tax. The other three presentations we received $100 Visa gift cards, so $300 in total. My fiance and I made $300 while on vacation! That definitely helped us celebrate this vacation in particular since he proposed to me while we were there at Islands of Adventure. 

These 5 simple steps can help you and your family ensure you take the deserved time off and away from home each year. It's very much possible and I encourage everyone to get away once a year, and if a one week vacation is too much there are always short getaways available. Make sure to check out the link to check those out. Here it is again, be sure to check out the hot vacation spots and amazing deals!

Always remember, vacations may cost you a portion of your savings, but the memories you will make you'll cherish forever and are PRICELESS! 

Monthly Spotlight: Freddy

An idea came to me when I was working for this last Spanish radio station to have a highlight feature segment each month. The segment would feature a person who has overcome numerous obstacles, but with motivation and perseverance has come out on top. This was also a thought to give credit and notoriety to someone who otherwise would never have been heard of. 

So I've decided to use this platform to go on with my idea and thank those whom I have crossed paths with in my lifetime to show them they are appreciated and their hard work is noticed. 

For my first Monthly Spotlight I want to give major props to my friend and colleague, Freddy Aguilar. 

I first met Freddy in September of 2011 when I returned to work for iHeart Media, back when it was still Clear Channel Communications. Freddy and I were both promotions assistants and both started off as interns prior to that. The funny thing to this story is that Freddy and I couldn't stand each other at first. He had a problem with my not-so-perfect Spanish speaking skills and I didn't like his ignorance to the fact that I am third generation, but was trying my best. 

It took us nearly three months and getting into a heated discussion before we became cordial, and eventually great friends. Telling everyone our story is always a pleasure for me to have that example and personal experience of how we overcame our differences in the workplace. 

Freddy is a husband to his beautiful wife, father to four gorgeous girls, coach to a softball team, manager to a new music band, promotions employee to the newest Spanish station in Chicago, and my great friend. How he manages all of this each and everyday is beyond me, but he takes pride in each responsibility he carries in his life. 

Having worked with Freddy on and off over the last five years has allowed me to get to know him better and see what an amazing person he is both at work and as a friend. I imagine I may have told him at least ten times a week that I don't know how he does it. He is such a positive person that at times it annoys me that he can be so easy going in every situation, even the hardest of predicaments. 

During the last almost two months at my most recent job I was going through the toughest of situations. The person who originally hired me and knew my potential was let go and it left me somewhat uneasy of my future with the company. It was a tough month to endure with some of the staff unconvinced that I was the right person for the job. Even having to deal with public humiliation and disrespect from a person in a management role. Each day was becoming harder to deal with coming into the office because I had no idea what to expect. Was someone going to disrespect me today, undermine me, question my abilities? I just wasn't sure and frankly getting to my breaking point quicker as each day passed. 

Unfortunately for me, Freddy's hours had been cut drastically due to that same person's personal agenda and I had less time to see him while at work. It angered me that they were being incredibly unfair and for all the wrong reasons. However, to my surprise Freddy kept his calm, continues to be patient to this day and extremely positive. Freddy would tell me, "it's okay don't take it so serious and just keep doing the good job that you're doing." Not only would he give me his own words of encouragement, but he would share prayers that have helped him, and he knows how important my faith is to me. 

All of this was necessary for me to hear each day, but unfortunately it got so bad for me personally that I left the company. Freddy, however, stayed and continues to be a positive force to be reckoned with. I have so much admiration for the person he is both professionally and personally. I just want him to know that his efforts do not go unnoticed and that I pray he continues to be successful in his desired career path. 

I'm sure many know him as El Compa Freddy from El Patron (now BIG 95.5FM), but to me he's Freddy, my humble and caring friend who I know will be my friend for a lifetime. Thank you for all that you have done, continue to do, and for the positive force you have been in every one's life that you have touched. 

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"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it." - Proverbs 3:27

Cancelled Wedding

October 1, 2016

That was the date my fiance and I had set for our wedding day which we chose last November and gave us almost one whole year to plan it out.

Venue, flowers, photographer, limo, centerpieces, videographer, favors, and so on. It was what seemed to be a never ending list of things we still needed to plan and here we were, five months until our "wedding day" and more than half of the things on the wedding checklist were still unchecked.

Those who know me well are well aware that I am not big on details or fancy parties for myself. I began to feel incredibly overwhelmed when constantly asked how the wedding planning was going. It wasn't any one's fault of course because it's a typical question to ask someone with a wedding only five months away, but I couldn't help but think, what is going on with the wedding planning?

All of the checklists, the family drama regarding "no kids" at the reception, the ridiculous prices for certain extras was just all too much for me to handle. This is no way knocking those who do have a big lavish wedding, kudos to you for having the money and patience, but it's like a part time job. 

When did weddings become bigger than the actual marriage? Since when did it become necessary to pay so much for a one day event? With each day that came and went I couldn't stop asking myself, why do we need to spend all this money? I get mad when he buys me flowers or anything that isn't something we both can't enjoy, so why this? 

Getting married is supposed to be the happiest time in your life, before having children of course, but at what cost? You have a big wedding, beautiful venue, amazing flowers, gorgeous center pieces, flawless dress, etc. then comes the day after and you realize you just spent $10,000 plus in one day. All of that money, gone forever. 

Will you have the memories, of course, but all I could personally think of was how that money can be used toward our first house. Toward traveling the world. Toward experiences with the person that this entire wedding is about. 

So here we were, now four months before the wedding, and I told my fiance how I was feeling about it all and to my relief he said he felt the same. THANK GOD, I thought to myself. We both realized that throwing a big party to what it had escalated to wasn't even what we wanted, we had added on certain things to please the families and not ourselves. It turned into, well so and so should be invited because of this, and so on. At the end of the day we realized that our marriage is about him and I, not a wedding, not a party, not for anyone else. 

Cancelling the wedding was the greatest decision we could have made for us as a couple. We still plan to get married of course, but our own way. We decided to have a weekend getaway in Vegas and get married with our bridal party there to witness and join in on the fun times to be had in Vegas. For our family, especially the parents, we plan to celebrate our Church wedding with a dinner after with our immediate family. 

Not only will this save us an insane amount of money, but the money we did have saved toward the wedding will be used toward a house in the near future, God willing. All I know is, God placed the man of my dreams in my life and the only thing that matters is that we're both happy, we're both committed to each other, and we don't need to spend all of that money to seal the deal. 

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Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you," so that we confidently say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?" - Hebrews 13: 4-6

Communication in Relationships

So you're having a disagreement/argument with your significant other and it's bothering you so much that instead of trying to work through it by communicating with your partner you walk away from the situation to cool off and instead call or text your sister, mom, or best friend to vent. 

I'm sure many of us have been in this situation more times than we'd like to admit, but in reading into this we're all making one of the biggest mistakes we can in our relationships that can be quite detrimental...communication, but with your partner. 

I am guilty of doing this many times and recently as much as I hate to admit it. As hard as it is to stop, it's something we must all promise ourselves to stray away from doing. There are quite a few things this can damage in the relationship. 

• Your partner may feel insecure because they may assume you do not feel comfortable communicating with them.

• Your partner may not know why you are upset because you aren't being clear with them, which in turn means they can't try to fix it.

• The person you confide in may view your partner differently because they are now involved in your relationship problems. 

• Your issues don't get resolved with your partner because you always choose to walk away which may cause them to start doing the same. 

• The lack of communication can lead to further issues than what originally caused it. 

Communication, as we all know, is key for anything from having a great work environment, family relationships, and friendships. 

Personally, my best method of communication in most situations has always been written communication. I find I can express myself best when I write a letter, email, or even a long text message. This is easiest for me because I find it incredibly hard to express any type of emotion when it comes to a personal situation in person. 

I truly do not do well with emotional confrontations and I am sure it's due to the situations where I had to be strong for my younger sister growing up with many issues our parents faced in an effort to comfort her. Not to say I do not encourage my family or friends to confide in me, but I have a tendency to not have the best reaction or comfort method to those who are sharing emotions of sadness. 

Even in my relationship now, it takes a lot for me to get so upset that I shed tears. Many times I do find it easier to shut down, walk away, and cry to myself because in my mind I assume my partner won't understand me or my point of view. Also, when my partner does try to communicate with me what his issues are I tend to justify my actions in response to his feelings. 

As I mentioned before, it's a hard thing to refrain from doing, but it's something we must all work on in an effort to better our relationships with our partner. If there was one thing I could take back is involving even those closest to me in my family with issues that have gone on in my relationship with my partner. If I choose to work through any issue, big or small, with my significant other it's because we believe our relationship is worth fighting for and we both know deep in our hearts that we have a future together. 

The other negative impact this can have is that the person you confide in may give you advice that can be more hurtful than helpful. I've seen it happen that those closest to you may not understand the nature of your relationship and are quick to tell you to leave the person or may advise you to do something that can further harm your relationship. I truly encourage you to avoid this possibility because there is nothing more painful than knowing someone who you assumed would want the best for you and to be happy would advise such things that would result in the opposite. 

From now on my partner and I have made a promise to each other to not let the opinions of others, even those closest to us, to have an impact on our relationship in order for us to be happy. At the end of the day it's just him and I in the relationship and no one, not even our parents, siblings, or closest friends will know what's best for us. I encourage you to do the same with your partner, especially if your relationship is something you know is worth working on and can do so together. 

Start attending mass together, read the Bible together, make sure to go to bed early to have a conversation about your day, have dinner together, set aside date nights, take interest in your partners interest, and most importantly always tell each other how much you love them. 

At the end of the day you, and only you, know what and who will make you happy. Trust your heart, mind, gut, and most importantly trust that God will lead you to the right answer. 

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My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. - James 1:19

Fear of Failure

How many times have you felt fearful of something that you just couldn't quite shake the feeling? How many times have you been told that those fears are fears you shouldn't have?

Each stage in my life has brought upon new fears. 

When I was younger my fears were that I would fail at school, that my parents would eventually divorce, that I would fail my little sister by being a terrible big sister.

As an adolescent they were fears of losing my first love, losing my job, not getting into college, failing at college, losing my family in the midst of my parents divorce that against all of my fears as a child, did in fact happen. 

Now as an adult my fears grow greater because I no longer have the excuse of being a child who doesn't know better. 

As an adult daughter I fear that I won't continue to make my parents proud by always pushing myself to achieve more. 

As the oldest sister of now a 21 year old, 9 year old, and 3 year old I fear that I won't be the best role model for them. I fear I won't be the older sibling they look up to or seek for advice as they get older themselves. 

As an employee I fear I won't live up to my potential in the workplace and that I will be replaced by the next college graduate who is knowledgeable in areas I may not be. I fear being unsuccessful as the years go on and not progressing with time. I fear financial instability and not being able to do it on my own.

As a fiance to my future husband I fear that I will not be enough for him and that he will seek what he needs in a partner from someone else. I fear being lied to, cheated on, abandoned, or not being put first in my partners life. I fear that with time and the more downs come with the ups that I will not be the same person he fell in love with. 

As a woman I fear that my punishment in life for aborting my unborn child 6 years ago is that I will not be able to bear children with my future husband. I fear that I will not be able to give my future husband what he truly desires, a family of his own. When I am constantly asked when I'm going to hurry up and have children how do I explain to them this fear? 

Lastly, as a daughter of God I fear that I am going down a path He didn't intend for me. I fear that the path He created for me is something I deliberately choose each day to stray from. I fear that I am not being the greatest daughter to Him and the greatest sister to His children.

Each of these fears have been lingering in my mind as a child and continue to grow as the years pass. So many times I'm told by my parents, relatives, close friends, and even coworkers that I shouldn't let these things get in the way. However, how do you stop it? How does one stop being afraid? How is it that I can read the Bible, read how many times God tells us to not be afraid and yet it's no remedy to my problem?

I've learned that these fears are inevitable. My fears of being a bad sister, daughter, fiance, employee, etc. are my expectations getting the best of me. I can always strive to be the best at each one of these, but somewhere down the line mistakes happen and I have to learn to not let it define me or hinder me from getting back up and trying harder next time. 

These fears have a big part in the creation of the woman I am today. Do I wish people knew some of my fears so as not to make me feel insulted or judged? Heck yea, but what I need to remember is that I am not the only one with such fears. I too play a big part in potentially hurting someone by making a comment, asking a question, or discussing certain topics that may be hurtful to others and I don't even realize it. 

It's understandable for us as humans to have such fears that we cannot control, but one thing I will try my best to do is remind myself that God tells us numerous times not to be afraid. He tells us that he will carry our burdens. Each day I wake up I thank God for another day here and I have to remind myself it's a new day. My worries from yesterday should not carry on and my fears are only my own insecurities. I pray that as time goes on it gets easier to rid myself of these burdens and for everyone else as well. I also pray to be more understanding because as an old manager once told me, "you never know what a person is going through in their personal lives so always greet them with a smile, you never know if you may make their day for them." 

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"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

Sisterhood

During a recent conversation ,during our hundreds, with my cousins I began to think about how fortunate I am to have such close bonds with many individuals in my family, specifically a sisterhood bond.

Urban dictionary defines Sisterhood as a bond between two or more girls, not always related by blood. They always tell the truth, honor each other, and love each other like sisters.  

I am more than blessed to have two sisterhood bonds.

The first is with my mom and my sister.

My mom has always been like my best friend since I was a little girl. I'm sure it had to do with the fact that she's a very young mom and was able to relate to me on a deeper level than older moms with their little ones. Even though we went through some very rough patches throughout the years we always pick back up after we've cooled down. Now that I am older and about to get married, I definitely seek my mom for wisdom, guidance, and a listening ear.

The relationship I've had with my sister has taken many forms over the course of the years. It started as a nurturing type in that I treated her as if she were my baby when she was born. I always had her in mind, took care of her, wanted to feed her, change her diapers, etc. Once she got a little older it was more of a playing partner. I then had someone to do things with such as play Super Nintendo, watch Power Rangers, roller blade, bike ride, and all of the fun things we do as kids. Even as I began my first serious relationship she went everywhere with me, not only because it was something my parents required in order for me to go out, but I truly enjoyed having her there. Even as I got older and my parents didn't make me take her with me to my boyfriend's (at the time) house I would still invite her over because I knew it was a nice escape for her too. It's crazy to think that now we are both adults and our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. She is such a mature woman that even being the older sister I still turn to her for advice.

The second sisterhood I'm blessed to be in is with my cousins.



 

Coming from a huge family on both sides, I have more cousins than the average family. However, being Mexican-American we do not do the first/second/third cousins. So those I consider my cousins are technically "second cousins," but again, we don't see it that way. The sisterhood I have is with the cousins on my mom's side. There is 7 of us ranging in age from our mid-twenties to early-thirties, and I'm the baby of the group (as always).

I can't say I have been close to them my entire life because I am younger and naturally when you're in your teens the last thing you want is your "annoying little cousin" to be in your business. It wasn't until 3 years ago when I started dating my now-fiancé that I was included in the group. At this point I was already 23, living on my own, and in a serious relationship so I'm sure it made it easier for my cousins to relate to me, who were mom's and some were married .

When I read the definition from Urban Dictionary it struck me that we hit all 3 key points, we tell each other the truth, we honor each other, and love each other like sisters.

Telling the truth, boy do we do that. What I truly love is that we can be brutally honest with each other and not take things personal. We tell each other what we know we can't say out loud to others, but need to let out and who better to vent to than your sisters. We confide in each other to let out our demons because we know we'll receive not only constructive criticism, but tough love as well. We honor each other each day and it's something I know we don't ever have to question. Lastly, we love each other like sisters because we know blood is thicker than water and family is always number 1.

One of the most important aspects of my sisterhood with my cousins is that we are all very much into our faith. We know that even though we may not all be the same denomination, God is always first in our lives and He is what brings us all together. I know for me it allows me to be open with my faith, how much I love Him, and how to grow closer to Him. There is nothing greater than having a group of strong, intelligent, strong-willed, independent, beautiful, kind hearted and Godly women who you can confide in, talk about God with, and know will always be there for you.

If you are fortunate enough to have a close bond with select special ladies in your life, work hard to keep it the bond strong. No one but women understand the intense creatures of emotions we are and we need to stick together to assure we are not alone. If you have a sister, cousin, aunt, or another close relative that you haven't spoken to in a while, I encourage you to reach out to them. You can't please everyone, but if you have a group of close relatives or friends who you know is willing to fight alongside you, those are the people you want in every season of your life.

I know who mine are, do you? 

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Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? - Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

 

 

Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”

And call understanding your intimate friend; - Proverbs 7:4