I've been meaning to write about this topic and just kept getting distracted. Well today while reading my book, Uplifting Thoughts for Every Day, the message resonated with me.
Think of yourself as a healer, not as a victim.
Self-pity
is the cancer of the soul. You are called to be a healer, not a
complainer. Be like Jesus. Think of others. Start pondering your mission in life. Call upon the Lord to make you a healer. Begin
by canceling any thoughts you have about being a victim. Snap out of
it.
In my case, for example, my parents are divorced and coming from a divided family one might say that I'd have the mentality that I don't want to get married because of that. That was the case for quite some time. I thought, I don't want to end up like my parents...but that was before I met Mando. Instead of feeling sorry about my situation, or the fact that I will never see my parents together again, I focus on what has been gained. I now have a beautiful and very energetic baby sister, I have the pleasure of knowing my mom isn't alone and is in fact being taken care of by Mike, who is amazing to her. Things happen and sometimes people aren't meant to be together, but that doesn't mean that will be my fate.
So your parents are divorced, they couldn't provide for you growing up, one of them is an addict, they didn't give you affection, you didn't have what your friends had growing up, you didn't have a lavish lifestyle....whatever the case may you, you are still here. Everyone has gone through something in life, even those who seem to have it all together. It's how you handle it and move forward that decides your future. The important thing is that you realize that it doesn't YOU as a person. You are not your parents, you are not your friends, you are you.
If you grew up seeing someone waste away their lives or making wrong decisions, be glad you were able to be the witness and not the person going through it. Be glad that you were able to witness such things that you can grow from, learn from, and be sure not to make the same mistakes. If you choose to pity yourself and say, well this is what I went through as a child, that is not and should not be an excuse. You are your own person, no one defines you, no one should tell you this is how you will live your life. You have the power to change the circumstances you are in.
I find that people who use such excuses knowing they are well aware that they have such point of views due to circumstances in their lives, it's a crutch. I have people close to me who gamble, is an addict, is a cheater, has committed crimes, and many others who do wrong. Does this give me a reason to be any one of those? Absolutely not. What do I do? I stay away from gambling, rarely drink (most certainly don't do it to get drunk), stay faithful, and remain a law abiding citizen. Why do I do these things, because I have seen what happens when people in my life have done wrong. I have witnessed them lose their family, lose their life's work, do time in jail, have trouble finding jobs because of it, and just struggle in general.
Although you may have been effected by it whether it be physically, mentally, or emotionally it still isn't a situation that you yourself should jump into because you believe it's inevitable. Look at it as your chance to persevere, do better for yourself, and say "yea I have been through this, but guess what, it didn't break me." So many times I hear excuses about why people make certain decisions and all I can say to myself in my head is "excuses, excuses, excuses." The person who is making those mistakes isn't telling you to do the same, they're not forcing you to make the same mistakes, so make the right choice to do better.
Take a look at yourself, your past, your present, your trials and tribulations and tell yourself that you will not let it bring you down. Tell yourself that you will use that pain, struggle, and anger to fuel your motivation to do better. No one is perfect, but we can all try to better ourselves one way or another. The sooner you rid yourself of that negative energy, the sooner you allow God to do His work in you and bring light into your life. The longer you let that negative energy linger, that negative attitude will stay and you will draw nothing but the negative into your life. Let God shine that light in you and witness His miracles come to life. I have, and it is the most beautiful thing.
